I don’t want to be known as ‘the guy who spoofed the back of the kid’s cereal box’, namely because I’m not a GUY, but hey. IT HAD TO BE DONE.
And today the ‘thing’ in particular that happened was making news, aptly, on Planet News! http://www.planetnews.info/sorrylittlesharky-shallow-art/
I’d just like to say, this is amazing and oh, it is SO much better than waking up one day with my head throbbing, in blood-smeared bandages, amongst the still-smoking ruins of a partially destroyed hospital, finding as I sit up that every limb has been replaced with cybernetic appendages and that I’m no longer clinically human.
As I rise in shock, I nearly fall off the stretcher for lack of balance…however I find that my legs automatically respond by transforming into absurdly overcomplicated-looking rocket boosters, that flicker on and power up just in time to keep me from hitting the ground; and, of course for whatever reason, I can FLY now, too. My designers obviously threw that in there just to show off and the thought never crossed their minds that I could potentially use these newfound powers to take over this now post-apocalyptic world and rule them all with my bionic fists of silver-titanium.
Therefore I am forced to officially retract my previous statement regarding awakening in some kind of despair and so on and so forth, to concede that this whole situation would indeed not be so very bad at all, somehow not to detract from how REALLY cool it is that an article was written about my work by a professional from a major news website.
May all your prosthetic appendages be cybernetic and exhibit amusingly diverse functionalities!